How do I stop being jealous of other people's talents?

Rabbi Landau teaches that jealousy changes when the goal becomes bigger than the individual. The real question is: “Is it important for you to win, or do you want us to win?”

Jealousy, he explains, is not really about talent; it is about who is supposed to benefit from it. “If I need to win, then your talent is a threat. If the mission needs to win, then your talent is oxygen.” Many groups are collections of people waiting for their turn to be the main character. A real team looks different: one speaks, one organizes, one drives, one does the work, and the spotlight can rotate, because it's about the goal. And when it works out, everyone says, “We won!”

The easiest way to dissolve ego, he says, is through a shared mission. As the Torah says, “Vayehi viYeshurun melech, b'hisasef roshei am”: when there is a king, the heads of the nation finally gather as one. “The king is not an obstacle to their greatness. The king is what makes the cooperation possible at all.”

So stop competing for the spotlight, he says, and do your unique part for the campaign.

Also answered in this teaching

Why does it hurt when a friend succeeds?

In A Soul at Peace, Rabbi Landau writes that it hurts when the question at your core is “Will I win?” instead of “Will the mission win?” Asking “What is the mission we share?” gives that pinch a different place to live.

Going deeper: Rabbi Landau's teaching, level by level

Surface claim

Jealousy is not about talent but about who is supposed to benefit from it.

Fear, vulnerability, or tension

When I need to win, every talent around me feels like a threat, and the group becomes people waiting for their turn in the spotlight.

What may be behind it

In A Soul at Peace, Rabbi Landau writes that envy is a sickness of people who see themselves as the goal in and of themselves.

Deepest human truth

A shared King gives different people one shared mission. The king does not erase anyone's greatness; he makes cooperation possible, and then everyone says “We won.”

More questions from this teaching

• What does “there was a king in Jeshurun” teach about unity?