Why haven't I changed even though I keep trying so hard?

Rabbi Landau teaches that if effort alone could change people, everyone would already be transformed. “The harder you try to change, the more you're assuming the problem is effort. It's not.” The real problem, he says, is that “you're trying to fix the wrong person. You're not broken, you're blind.”

That is why David HaMelech asked, “Gal einai v'abitah niflaos mitorasecha,” open my eyes so I may see the wonders of Your Torah. The moment a person wakes up, he doesn't need to force new behavior. “He sees a new reality.”

“The greatest obstacle isn't weakness, it's blindness.” We spend years fighting habits, emotions, and behaviors while never questioning the way we see ourselves. Real transformation “doesn't begin with effort, it begins with awareness.”

Once you see the truth, he explains, you stop trying to become someone else. “You simply stop believing the lie about who you were, and that's real transformation.”

Going deeper: Rabbi Landau's teaching, level by level

Surface claim

Effort alone doesn't transform people. The problem is not weakness but blindness.

Fear, vulnerability, or tension

A person fights the same habits and emotions for years and starts to believe he is broken.

What may be behind it

In A Soul at Peace, Rabbi Landau writes that David asked for open eyes, not more strength: the wonders are already there, and the problem is that the eyes are closed. All the effort is aimed at the wrong person.

Deepest human truth

Real transformation begins with awareness. When you see the truth, you stop believing the lie about who you were.