How do I respond to pain without becoming a victim?
By Rabbi Shalom Landau.
Rabbi Landau teaches that “responsibility is unstoppable,” while a nation of victims will crumble. Modern culture says that if you're in pain, find someone to blame. “But the Torah says, if you're in pain, find your responsibility.”
We believe in personal effort, he explains. Hashem runs the world, but He blesses work, not excuses. Today it can seem that everyone is a victim and someone else is always to blame. He calls that “spiritual poison”: it drains a person, and a nation, of power.
The Torah says, “Hachaim vehamaves nasati lefanecha... uvacharta bachaim,” I have placed life and death before you, choose life. So “feel the pain. Own the next step. Don't ask, who did this to me? Ask, what can I do now?”
Watch Rabbi Landau's teaching · Also taught in: teaching 2
Related concepts: Inspiration has to become a deed · Mindset
In A Soul at Peace: Choose Life
Going deeper: Rabbi Landau's teaching, level by level
Surface claim
In pain, look for your responsibility, not for someone to blame.
Fear, vulnerability, or tension
As long as a person's eyes are fixed on “Who did this to me?”, he is facing the wrong way. In A Soul at Peace, Rabbi Landau writes that you cannot walk forward when your face is turned back.
What may be behind it
Victimhood is a slow poison that drains a person and a nation of their power.
Deepest human truth
Hashem blesses effort, not excuses. Even one small step of “What can I do?” turns a person from a captive into someone who acts.
More questions from this teaching
More answers: Purpose, Character, and Masculine Leadership · All questions · Questions about Rabbi Landau and Rivnitz