What should I ask myself instead of asking what is wrong with me?

Rabbi Landau teaches that the better question is “Where does this belong?” The question is never “What is wrong with me?” he says. It is always where this energy is meant to go.

Stop apologizing for your intensity and start interrogating it. In A Soul at Peace he spells it out: don't ask, “How do I erase my anger?” Ask, “Where is my anger truly needed?” Don't ask how to get rid of your stubbornness. Ask what holy work it is waiting for.

He also explains why the old question fails. “What is wrong with me?” gives birth to heavy sadness and despair, and you cannot do inner work from despair. The new question is the difference between a person who wages an endless war against himself and a person who leads himself.

Going deeper: Rabbi Landau's teaching, level by level

Surface claim

Ask where a trait belongs, not what is wrong with you.

Deepest human truth

The energy is not always the problem. Sometimes it has simply been sent to the wrong place.

More questions from this teaching

• Should I try to get rid of my worst traits, like anger or obsessiveness?