Why does success keep running away the more I chase it?

Rabbi Landau teaches that the more you chase money, happiness, or respect, “the faster it's gonna run from you.” The problem, he says, is that you're asking the wrong question.

Most people ask: How do I get it? How do I catch it? How do I make it happen? “Wrong, wrong, completely wrong.” The real question is, “How do I become the someone that it's gonna come to?” Stop chasing, start becoming, and everything shifts. The thing you wanted starts moving toward you.

And it's two wins for one, he says, because you turn into a better person on the way. That is the old saying of the Sages, “Kol harodef achar hakavod, hakavod bore'ach mimenu,” whoever chases honor, honor runs from him. “The chase is the problem. Chasing pushes it away. Becoming pulls it in.”

Also answered in this teaching

Does this apply to confidence and leadership too?

Rabbi Landau teaches that the same is true for confidence, leadership, respect, influence, and even happiness. Stop chasing outcomes and start becoming the person capable of carrying them.

Going deeper: Rabbi Landau's teaching, level by level

Surface claim

Chasing pushes things away. Becoming draws them in.

Fear, vulnerability, or tension

In A Soul at Peace, Rabbi Landau writes that the chase itself sends out lack. When you run after something, you are admitting that you don't have it.

What may be behind it

The question “How do I get it?” assumes the power lies outside you. He writes that the right question is how to become a vessel fit to receive it.

Deepest human truth

Becoming is not passive. It is real inner work, and it brings a double win: you grow inside, and the blessing comes from outside.

More questions from this teaching

• What does “whoever chases honor, honor runs from him” mean?