How do I heal when I feel empty and broken inside?

Rabbi Landau teaches that many people today say, “I’m empty, I’m broken, I need healing, I need to go deeper inside myself.” But “the more you stare inwards, the more you drown.” You don’t heal by diving into your pain. “You heal by interrupting your pain.”

The human soul, he explains, “is not designed to be fixed from the inside. It’s designed to be activated from the outside.” A lonely person needs responsibility, a mission he’s living for, someone who depends on his light. “Pain grows when you pay attention to yourself. Purpose grows when you give attention to others.” In his words, “Your heart doesn’t heal by being studied. It heals by being used.”

He learns this from the Chanukah light. Ner Chanukah, he says, is a mitzvah that cannot stay inside. “You’re not allowed to keep the light for yourself. You put it in the window for strangers, for bypassers, for the street. You light outside and suddenly your inside heals.”

Going deeper: Rabbi Landau's teaching, level by level

Surface claim

Rabbi Landau teaches that a person heals by interrupting pain and turning outward, not by staring ever deeper inward.

Fear, vulnerability, or tension

A person who feels empty and broken keeps digging into himself, and the more he looks inward, the more he drowns.

Underlying need or longing

What does a lonely person really need?

Responsibility, a mission to live for, and someone who depends on his light.

Deepest human truth

The heart heals by being used, not by being studied. In A Soul at Peace, Rabbi Landau writes that when you shine outside, it grows brighter inside.

More questions from this teaching

• Why is the Chanukah light placed in the window instead of kept inside?