Is obedience out of fear the same as loyalty?

Rabbi Landau teaches that “you can make somebody do almost anything if they are scared enough.” A child can behave out of fear, an employee can work out of fear, a citizen can obey the rules out of fear. “But don't confuse that with loyalty.”

“The second the fear disappears, the relationship disappears. Because he never chose you.” That, he says, is what makes real leadership so hard: “You can force behavior, you cannot force love, you cannot force loyalty, and you cannot force somebody to say, I want to be part of this.”

The deepest relationships in life, Rabbi Landau explains, are not built on fear. “They are built when somebody could say no and chooses to say yes.” One word holds the whole idea: b'ratzon, willingly. Real connection begins with willingness.

Going deeper: Rabbi Landau's teaching, level by level

Surface claim

Fear can force behavior, but it is not loyalty.

Fear, vulnerability, or tension

A relationship held together by fear lasts only as long as the fear: the moment it disappears, the relationship disappears.

Underlying need or longing

To be chosen. Real loyalty means the other person could say no and chooses yes.

Deepest human truth

Love and loyalty cannot be forced. The deepest relationships are built b'ratzon, with willingness.

More questions from this teaching

• Why is real leadership so hard?