Why do I feel emotionally drained by the afternoon, and how do I stop it?

Rabbi Landau teaches that you live on “a strict daily emotional budget.” Most people act as if it were unlimited. He compares it to a man who gets his paycheck and blows it on junk he doesn't need. By the afternoon he's broke and has no idea why. “That's exactly what people do with their emotions.”

Every time you get angry, every time you get insulted, every time you let someone bother you, “you're just spending emotional money.” So ask before you spend: “Is this frustration really worth the price? Is this person worth draining today's whole emotional bank account?”

He does not say never to feel. “Get angry or sad, but choose on what you spend it wisely.” He quotes Shlomo HaMelech: kol rucho yotzi chesil, v'chacham b'achor yeshabchenah. The fool lets out everything he feels, and the wise man holds it back. “The hero is the one who guards his emotional wealth.” That is the one who says, “I have only a few emotional dollars today. I'm not wasting them.” He warns that otherwise, energy meant to last one day can turn into “eight days of madness.”

Going deeper: Rabbi Landau's teaching, level by level

Surface claim

Every person has a limited daily emotional budget, and most spend it as if it were unlimited.

Fear, vulnerability, or tension

Like the man who blows his paycheck on junk, a person can be emotionally broke by the afternoon without knowing why.

Underlying need or longing

Does this mean I should never get angry or sad?

No. Rabbi Landau says, “Get angry or sad, but choose on what you spend it wisely.”

Deepest human truth

The wise person holds back and values his spirit. In A Soul at Peace, Rabbi Landau writes that each morning Hashem gives back the soul together with a measured, daily portion of inner strength.

More questions from this teaching

• What does “A fool lets out all his spirit, but the wise one holds it back” mean?