Why does a peaceful life feel fake or hard to trust?

Rabbi Landau explains that for some people, “suffering became their safety. And peace, that's the scariest thing of all.” The guy gets the right job and just walks out. The marriage starts healing and he picks a fight. The blessing starts flowing, and suddenly they are drowning in drama again.

“It's not random, it's not bad luck, it's self-sabotage.” When your whole identity is built around pain, “a peaceful life doesn't feel safe, it feels fake. You don't trust it. You don't feel worthy of it.” So you pull the plug “just to feel normal again.”

He points to Iyov, the man who suffered more than anyone else, who said, ki pachad pachadti va'ye'esayeni, “The thing I feared came upon me.” “Not because he deserved it, because part of him expected it.” Sometimes, he says, “we fear peace more than pain.”

“You don't need more miracles,” Rabbi Landau says. “You need permission to stop running from the one you're already living in.” As his caption puts it, sometimes the real avodah is allowing yourself to live in peace.

Going deeper: Rabbi Landau's teaching, level by level

Surface claim

Self-sabotage when life goes right is not bad luck. For some, suffering has become their safety.

Fear, vulnerability, or tension

Why can't I trust it when things finally go well?

When identity is built around pain, Rabbi Landau says, peace “feels fake,” and a person doesn't feel worthy of it.

What may be behind it

Like Iyov, part of a person can expect suffering, and that expectation pulls him back toward it.

Deepest human truth

You don't need more miracles. You need permission to stop running from the one you are already living in.

More questions from this teaching

• What did Iyov mean when he said “The thing I feared came upon me”?