Better Than a Mighty Warrior
“Better to be slow to anger than to be a mighty warrior; better to rule your own spirit than to capture a city.” To Begin Young married man, ask yourself this: Would you be ready to die for your family? Most people answer without even thinking: “Yes. Of course. I’d take a bullet for them. I’d give my life.” That is a noble answer, and no one should look down on it. But notice the real question, the much harder one: Are you ready to live for them? That is where the real difficulty lies. Two Faces of Strength King Solomon wrote in the Book of Proverbs: “Better to be slow to anger than to be a mighty warrior; better to rule your own spirit than to capture a city.” This verse is not just praising patience. It sets up a clear order of greatness, and at first glance a surprising one. It says that ruling your own spirit is greater than capturing a city. The mighty warrior and the man who captures a city are pictures of power. They burst outward, and they do one great, dramatic deed. Being slow to anger and ruling your own spirit is different. It is not one deed. It is thousands of small moments, each one standing on its own. None of them makes the headlines, and no one stands there clapping. So why are they greater? The warrior has his great moment. He rises up once, power bursts out of him once, and he wins. He gets honor. He gets a story to tell. The man who rules his own spirit fights his war with no witnesses. He fights in the morning, when no one is watching. He fights at the moment of temptation, when no one would ever hear about it. He fights when he is tired and has no strength left. Then he fights again the next day, and again after that. He has no single great moment. He has ten thousand small ones. This kind of work takes an inner strength that is deeper and steadier beyond measure. Self-Sacrifice: Not to Die, but to Live Here is the real new idea. We know the idea of self-sacrifice as being ready to die for Hashem’s sake. That is one supreme moment of courage. And truly, its greatness has no equal. But most people, most of the time, are not standing in that moment. So what do we do with the rest of our lives? Rabbi Schneur Zalman of Liadi, author of the Tanya, the classic book of Hasidic thought, explains in chapter 27 the inner work called “subduing the dark side.” This means conquering the body’s cravings and pushing the bad away. He teaches that this is a special and precious kind of service. Through it a person fulfills the commandment to love Hashem “with all your soul.” This means that self-sacrifice is not only dying for Hashem’s sake. There is self-sacrifice in life itself. It happens every time a person gives up what he wants, his comfort or some small craving, and hands it over to what Hashem wants. Each time, he “dies” a small death. He gives up a piece of his “I.” And again. And again. Thousands of times. A man who is ready to die for his family and for Hashem is a fine thing. But true greatness belongs to the man who is ready to live for them. He gets up in the morning at the right time. He guards his eyes. He lets go of the anger burning inside him. He eats the way he should. He goes after the thing he has been putting off week after week. He does all this when no one sees and no one claps. This is the strength of “ruling your own spirit.” This is the self-sacrifice of everyday life.
Putting It into Practice
Tonight, before you go to sleep, ask yourself: Did I fight one small battle today? Not a big battle, just a small one. Did I let go of one moment of anger? Did I overcome one moment of laziness? Did I stand strong against one temptation? If so, it was a day of strength. The verse calls this kind of strength greater than the deed of capturing a city. As our Sages teach: “Who is truly strong? The one who conquers his evil inclination,” the inner voice that pulls us toward wrong. The strong man is not the fighter on the battlefield. He is not the one who fell in one great moment. He is the one who conquered, day after day, quietly, with no audience. This is true strength. This is the self-sacrifice of our time.
Questions and answers
Q: What does the verse "Better to be slow to anger than to be a mighty warrior; better to rule your own spirit than to capture a city" say?
Rabbi Landau answers: “Better to be slow to anger than to be a mighty warrior; better to rule your own spirit than to capture a city.”
Q: Is being ready to die for your family harder than being ready to live for them?
Rabbi Landau answers: Young married man, ask yourself this: Would you be ready to die for your family? Most people answer without even thinking: “Yes. Of course. I’d take a bullet for them. I’d give my life.” That is a noble answer, and no one should look down on it. But notice the real question, the much harder one: Are you ready to live for them? That is where the real difficulty lies.
Q: Why is the man who rules his own spirit greater than the warrior who captures a city?
Rabbi Landau answers: The warrior has his great moment. He rises up once, power bursts out of him once, and he wins. He gets honor. He gets a story to tell. The man who rules his own spirit fights his war with no witnesses. He fights in the morning, when no one is watching. He fights at the moment of temptation, when no one would ever hear about it. He fights when he is tired and has no strength left. Then he fights again the next day, and again after that. He has no single great moment. He has ten thousand small ones. This kind of work takes an inner strength that is deeper and steadier beyond measure.
Q: What does Rabbi Schneur Zalman of Liadi teach about self-sacrifice in everyday life, not just in one supreme moment?
Rabbi Landau answers: We know the idea of self-sacrifice as being ready to die for Hashem’s sake. That is one supreme moment of courage. And truly, its greatness has no equal. But most people, most of the time, are not standing in that moment. So what do we do with the rest of our lives? Rabbi Schneur Zalman of Liadi, author of the Tanya, the classic book of Hasidic thought, explains in chapter 27 the inner work called “subduing the dark side.” This means conquering the body’s cravings and pushing the bad away. He teaches that this is a special and precious kind of service.
Q: How can I tell at the end of the day whether I lived a day of real strength?
Rabbi Landau answers: Tonight, before you go to sleep, ask yourself: Did I fight one small battle today? Not a big battle, just a small one. Did I let go of one moment of anger? Did I overcome one moment of laziness? Did I stand strong against one temptation? If so, it was a day of strength. The verse calls this kind of strength greater than the deed of capturing a city. As our Sages teach: “Who is truly strong? The one who conquers his evil inclination,” the inner voice that pulls us toward wrong. The strong man is not the fighter on the battlefield. He is not the one who fell in one great moment. He is the one who conquered, day after day, quietly, with no audience. This is true strength.