Better the End Than the Beginning

“The end of a thing is better than its beginning; a patient spirit is better than a proud spirit.” King Solomon said: “The end of a thing is better than its beginning; a patient spirit is better than a proud spirit.” But we need to understand something. What is the inner link between the two halves of this verse? Why did Solomon put “the end” and “the beginning” together with being patient? At first glance these are two separate things. One is about wisdom and planning. The other is about character. If they are not connected, why does the verse join them? But that very link is the great new idea here. There Are Not Two “Me”s. There Is One. Come, my brother, let us think about this. A person is a small world, and his inner self is one. There is no “me at work” and “me at home.” Every day you use certain strengths to earn a living: patience, good judgment, the way you deal with something hard. Those very same strengths run your marriage and your home. As the Bible says: “With wisdom a house is built.” The same wisdom that builds a house of brick and stone builds the home between a husband and his wife. So the work you choose is not just a way to make money. It is a study hall for your inner self. It trains your instincts. It shapes the inner reflex that will kick in, without any thought at all, in the small, wearing moments of married life. Two Kinds of Soul: The Engineer and the Telemarketer Let’s take an example from everyday life. Think of the engineer, the one who builds bridges and houses. His work is to calculate what will be. He invests in the present. He gives up the comfort of “the beginning” so that “the end” will stand firm. If he sees a small crack in a wall, even one as thin as a hair, he stops, calculates and fixes it. He knows that a building goes up one detail after another, and nothing “small” is unimportant. This is what “a patient spirit” means: the patience to stay with the process, to love the beginning even though the end is still far away. Now think of the telemarketer. We certainly do not mean to look down on him, heaven forbid. But his job trains a completely different instinct. He is looking for an instant result. When the call gets hard, when the person on the other end is struggling, he hangs up. He moves on to the next call. His work trains him to believe that “hard” means “over.” This is what “a proud spirit” means here. It is not plain arrogance. It is impatience with anything that does not come easily. Now ask yourself: which instinct are you training? When We Hang Up at Home This is the place to speak straight, my brother, and warmly. Real peace in the home does not mean there are never any arguments. Couples who stay married for years and years are not couples who never have disagreements. They are couples where the husband notices every time his wife reaches out a hand, turns toward him, or sends a small signal. He “stays on the call.” That is because he is an engineer. He knows that a small crack he ignores will grow. And every time she reaches out and we ignore it? Every moment when our partner reaches out and we are “busy,” “tired,” “just back from work”? That is a small separation. Once is nothing. Many times becomes “building in reverse.” Stone after stone, a wall goes up between two hearts. And when that wall gets high enough, the wife stops “calling.” It is not that she doesn’t want to. She has stopped expecting anyone to answer. Back to the Verse Now we can understand why King Solomon joined the two halves together. “The end of a thing is better than its beginning”: don’t judge a moment by how comfortable it feels right now. Judge it by the future it is building. “A patient spirit is better than a proud spirit”: this is how you do it. Don’t hang up. Stay. Think it through. Fix the small crack now, so the building will stand tomorrow. The engineer inside you knows that an “everlasting building” is not built in one great burst of fire. It is built from small moments that got an answer, from reaching-outs that were not left hanging in the air, from a patient spirit that said: one more conversation, one more small change.