Death and Life Are in Your Words
“Death and life are in the power of the tongue, and those who love it will eat its fruit.” A Simple Question “Death and life are in the power of the tongue.” Many of us know this verse. We usually read it as a lesson about how we speak about other people: gossip, blessings and curses. But a simple question comes up. What “death” or “life” could there be in words a person says about himself, to himself, even when he is only joking? What power can a joke you make about yourself possibly have? Speech: The Soul’s Garment and a Power That Creates Rabbi Schneur Zalman of Liadi explains in the Tanya, his classic book of Hasidic thought, that thought, speech and action are three “garments” of the soul. A garment is not something completely outside of you. It is the place where the soul shows itself and acts. It is the way the soul expresses itself. Through it, the soul moves from hidden potential into real action. Here is another basic idea. The Bible says: “By the word of Hashem the heavens were made.” The world was created through speech. Speech did not just describe creation. Speech made it. It is well known that the human being, created “in the image” of Hashem, also received a spark of this power. When a person speaks, he is not only “describing” a reality that already exists. His words have the power to create a new reality. Your Soul Doesn’t Get Sarcasm Now we come to the point that needs real attention. As a young married man, you surely know this moment. You left the house late again. A friend walks over and says, “I figured you’d be late.” You laugh. Half joking and half serious, you answer, “What can I do? I’m always late. That’s just how I am.” You laughed. You moved on. But the animal soul does not hear the laughter. By the animal soul we mean the inner forces that drive you day after day. It hears only the words. These inner forces cannot tell the difference between “I said it seriously” and “I said it as a joke.” They take your words as an order to carry out. Right away they get to work, making what you said come true. Picture a king who gives an order while laughing, just for fun. Do his soldiers stop to ask, “Did he really mean it?” No. They carry out the order exactly as it was spoken. This is how the inner forces of the soul work. You said, “I’m always late,” and they took it in. Now they are going to make that promise come true. That sentence is not a “description” of the person you are. It is an “instruction” for the person you are about to become. The Mark That Stays The Baal Shem Tov, founder of the Hasidic movement, taught that every word a Jew speaks creates a real effect in the spiritual worlds. What is said does not just disappear. It leaves a mark. So when a person says the same things about himself again and again, “I’m hopeless,” “I never succeed at anything,” “That’s just how it is with me,” the words get carved deep inside him, even when he says them laughing. The soul accepts this label as the plain truth. Then it starts building the person to match it, stone by stone. Now we can understand why a person can feel “stuck” in a negative pattern, even though his wish to change is real and deep. He wants to change. But his mouth keeps ordering up the old self. And the inner forces obey the orders of the mouth. “Death and life are in the power of the tongue.” This is true not only about what you say to others. Most of all, it is true about what you say about yourself.
Putting It into Practice
Stop for a moment. Think: What sentences do you say about yourself, even as a joke, even “just because”? Starting today, pay attention to the jokes you make about yourself. The goal is not to kill your sense of humor. The goal is to know what you are inviting into your life. If you notice a negative pattern you want to change, start talking about yourself differently. Don’t do it with arrogance, and don’t pretend the problem isn’t there. Just say it simply: “I am someone who arrives on time.” “I can do this.” Say it, and your soul will begin to build according to your words. Your mouth is building the person you are about to become. Decide what it will build.
Questions and answers
Q: Which verse from Proverbs about the power of the tongue does this essay start from?
Rabbi Landau answers: “Death and life are in the power of the tongue, and those who love it will eat its fruit.”
Q: How can "death and life are in the power of the tongue" apply to what I say about myself?
Rabbi Landau answers: “Death and life are in the power of the tongue.” Many of us know this verse. We usually read it as a lesson about how we speak about other people: gossip, blessings and curses. But a simple question comes up. What “death” or “life” could there be in words a person says about himself, to himself, even when he is only joking? What power can a joke you make about yourself possibly have?
Q: Why can joking about yourself, like "I'm always late", be harmful to your soul?
Rabbi Landau answers: Now we come to the point that needs real attention. As a young married man, you surely know this moment. You left the house late again. A friend walks over and says, “I figured you’d be late.” You laugh. Half joking and half serious, you answer, “What can I do? I’m always late. That’s just how I am.” You laughed. You moved on. But the animal soul does not hear the laughter. By the animal soul we mean the inner forces that drive you day after day. It hears only the words. These inner forces cannot tell the difference between “I said it seriously” and “I said it as a joke.” They take your words as an order to carry out.
Q: What did the Baal Shem Tov teach about the mark that every word leaves?
Rabbi Landau answers: The Baal Shem Tov, founder of the Hasidic movement, taught that every word a Jew speaks creates a real effect in the spiritual worlds. What is said does not just disappear. It leaves a mark. So when a person says the same things about himself again and again, “I’m hopeless,” “I never succeed at anything,” “That’s just how it is with me,” the words get carved deep inside him, even when he says them laughing. The soul accepts this label as the plain truth. Then it starts building the person to match it, stone by stone. Now we can understand why a person can feel “stuck” in a negative pattern, even though his wish to change is real and deep. He wants to change.
Q: What practical step does Rabbi Landau give about the jokes we make about ourselves?
Rabbi Landau answers: Stop for a moment. Think: What sentences do you say about yourself, even as a joke, even “just because”? Starting today, pay attention to the jokes you make about yourself. The goal is not to kill your sense of humor. The goal is to know what you are inviting into your life. If you notice a negative pattern you want to change, start talking about yourself differently. Don’t do it with arrogance, and don’t pretend the problem isn’t there. Just say it simply: “I am someone who arrives on time.” “I can do this.” Say it, and your soul will begin to build according to your words. Your mouth is building the person you are about to become. Decide what it will build.