Deep Waters: The Answer Already in Your Heart

“The advice in a person’s heart is like deep waters, and a person of understanding will draw it up.” A Common Mistake There is a common mistake. A sincere young married man can fall into it without even noticing. He goes to see his mentor, the spiritual guide he turns to, and he goes feeling like a broken vessel. He feels that something in him is not right. He thinks the mentor’s job is to fix him, to pour something into him, to add to him, to turn him into a different person. When he thinks this way, every talk with his mentor makes him more dependent. It does not make him stronger. He leaves feeling that he was given something from the outside. But the moment he walks out of the room, the emptiness walks out with him. But that is not how it really is. Reading the Verse Closely King Solomon wrote: “The advice in a person’s heart is like deep waters, and a person of understanding will draw it up.” Look closely at the words. “The advice in a person’s heart.” It does not say advice that will be given to a person. It does not say advice he will bring home from the marketplace. It says: in a person’s heart. It is already there. It is already hidden inside. It already exists. Hashem placed inside every single Jew not only a soul, but every piece of advice and all the truth that person needs for serving Hashem and for life. So what is the problem? The waters are deep. They are covered by layers of confusion and fear, by the noise of the world and by the noise inside us. A person hears many voices. There is the voice of the evil inclination, the inner voice that pulls us toward wrong. There is the voice of doubt, and the voice of the people around us. And his own deep inner voice, the voice of his soul, gets pushed down. Rabbi Schneur Zalman of Liadi, author of the Tanya, the classic book of Hasidic thought, writes about this. There is a hidden love planted in the heart of every Jew. It comes from the very core of his soul, which is “a piece of Hashem above, truly.” This love is not earned and it is not borrowed. It is the very essence of who he is. And just as this love is hidden and covered, so are all the powers of the soul, including its advice. They lie hidden, waiting to be revealed. Who Is the “Person of Understanding”? Here is what is new in the verse: “and a person of understanding will draw it up.” What is the job of the person of understanding? He is the mentor, the guide, the person you turn to. His job is not to give you advice. It is not to give you an answer. It is not to turn you into a different person. His job is to draw it up. To draw up what is already there. Think of Hagar, Abraham’s maidservant, in the desert. The well of living water was there the whole time, but her eyes were closed. The angel did not come and create water out of nothing. The Torah says: “Hashem opened her eyes, and she saw a well of water.” Only her eyes were opened. The discovery came from seeing, not from creating. The person of understanding is the same. His understanding is not really about knowing the answer. His understanding is that he sees your heart is awake, even when you yourself are “asleep.” He sees the spark that is waiting to catch fire. And his job is not to light a new fire. It is to help you light your own. What to Do When you sit across from your mentor, change the question. Don’t ask, “What should I do?” Ask instead: “What does my soul already know that I myself have not yet heard?” The advice you are looking for is not with him. It is in your heart. He is there to help you clear away what is covering it: the fear, the confusion, the shame. Then the deep waters can rise. The Torah says: “When a person among you brings an offering.” Hasidic teachers explain that the offering has to come “from you,” from the inside. Inner work that does not rise up from inside is not true inner work, even if it looks exact and well organized from the outside. You Are Not Broken You are not broken. You are not an empty vessel waiting for someone to pour something into it. As King Solomon wrote: “The soul of a person is a lamp of Hashem.” You are a lamp that already has oil and already has a wick. All that is missing is the knowledge that it can be lit. A good mentor is not a candle that lights other candles with his own flame. He is the person who brings your candle close enough that your own fire begins to catch by itself. “The advice in a person’s heart is like deep waters.” The waters are there. Deep, yes, but there.