Half of What You Long For
The Question There is a well-known saying of our Sages. It is quoted often, but it is not always understood the right way. The Midrash on the Book of Ecclesiastes says: “A person leaves this world with only half of what he longed for in his hand.” In other words, every person, without exception, ends his life holding only half of what he wanted and wished for. So we have to ask: what is the lesson here? At first it sounds like a sad, hopeless statement. If we will never reach the goal anyway, why bother trying? And if so, why did our Sages tell us this at all? Are the books of wisdom only here to tell us, “This is how things are, so get used to it”? Turning the Question Around It seems our Sages did not come to make us lose hope. They came to show us how something works, a rule of serving Hashem. The “half” a person ends up with is not a fixed decree from Heaven all by itself. It comes straight from how big his longing was. What you achieve always depends on what you aim for. So if you want your “half” to be big and meaningful, the “whole” you aim for has to be bigger and more meaningful many times over. This is a strategy. Aim for many times more, and you make sure that whatever you do reach will be worth something. A Parable from Real Life We can see this clearly in the material world too. Someone aims for a million and ends up with half a million. He “succeeded” in only half of what he wanted. But in fact he reached an amount that someone who aimed for half a million will never reach. And someone who aimed for billions and “failed” with only millions? He beat them both. His “half” is bigger than their “whole.” The Lesson for Serving Hashem Now let us apply this. Dear young married man, how many times have you heard this voice inside yourself: “That’s not for me. That’s for great righteous people. I’ll just stay where I am. Don’t overdo it...”? This is the voice of narrow, shrunken thinking. It is the habit of making your hopes smaller out of fear of failing. It is a kind of spiritual “realism” that looks humble but actually holds you back. But look at what this “realism” does. It fixes your “half” at a low level from the very start. If you only aim to honor the Sabbath, the “half” you reach will be less. But if you aim for a burning love for Hashem that never goes out, for being completely bound to Him, for prayer that truly touches you, then even if you don’t reach all of it, the “half” you do reach will be a high level in itself. The holy Baal Shem Tov, founder of the Hasidic movement, taught: “Where a person’s will is, that is where he is.” Your will is not only a push from inside your mind. It is a place. A great will brings a person there, even before his visible situation has arrived at that place. So aiming for greatness in serving Hashem is not arrogance. It is faith in Hashem’s power that is hidden in your soul. As the Tanya, the classic book of Hasidic thought, explains: even the “in-between” person, who is not fully righteous, must stay in a “battle” with himself and never simply settle for who he is.
Putting It into Practice
Set yourself one goal in serving Hashem that seems “too much” to you. Not average. Big. Something you would usually say “is not for me.” One prayer a day said with real focus and feeling. Study of Hasidic teaching that enters your heart, not only your head. Aim there, and you will see what your “half” is worth.
Questions and answers
Q: Is the saying "A person leaves this world with only half of what he longed for" meant to make us give up hope?
Rabbi Landau answers: There is a well-known saying of our Sages. It is quoted often, but it is not always understood the right way. The Midrash on the Book of Ecclesiastes says: “A person leaves this world with only half of what he longed for in his hand.” In other words, every person, without exception, ends his life holding only half of what he wanted and wished for. So we have to ask: what is the lesson here? At first it sounds like a sad, hopeless statement. If we will never reach the goal anyway, why bother trying? And if so, why did our Sages tell us this at all? Are the books of wisdom only here to tell us, “This is how things are, so get used to it”?
Q: How does the size of a person's longing determine the "half" he actually achieves?
Rabbi Landau answers: It seems our Sages did not come to make us lose hope. They came to show us how something works, a rule of serving Hashem. The “half” a person ends up with is not a fixed decree from Heaven all by itself. It comes straight from how big his longing was. What you achieve always depends on what you aim for. So if you want your “half” to be big and meaningful, the “whole” you aim for has to be bigger and more meaningful many times over. This is a strategy. Aim for many times more, and you make sure that whatever you do reach will be worth something.
Q: What does the example of aiming for a million and reaching half show?
Rabbi Landau answers: We can see this clearly in the material world too. Someone aims for a million and ends up with half a million. He “succeeded” in only half of what he wanted. But in fact he reached an amount that someone who aimed for half a million will never reach. And someone who aimed for billions and “failed” with only millions? He beat them both. His “half” is bigger than their “whole.”
Q: Why should I not tell myself that great spiritual goals are only for the righteous?
Rabbi Landau answers: Now let us apply this. Dear young married man, how many times have you heard this voice inside yourself: “That’s not for me. That’s for great righteous people. I’ll just stay where I am. Don’t overdo it...”? This is the voice of narrow, shrunken thinking. It is the habit of making your hopes smaller out of fear of failing. It is a kind of spiritual “realism” that looks humble but actually holds you back. But look at what this “realism” does. It fixes your “half” at a low level from the very start. If you only aim to honor the Sabbath, the “half” you reach will be less.
Q: What kind of goal in serving Hashem does Rabbi Landau suggest setting?
Rabbi Landau answers: Set yourself one goal in serving Hashem that seems “too much” to you. Not average. Big. Something you would usually say “is not for me.” One prayer a day said with real focus and feeling. Study of Hasidic teaching that enters your heart, not only your head. Aim there, and you will see what your “half” is worth.