Hatred Comes from Below
“Abimelech said to Isaac: Go away from us, for you have become much mightier than we are.” Opening A young married man may know this feeling exactly. One moment he is rising. He is growing and moving forward in his inner work. Then suddenly he feels something cold around him. An uneasy look. A word said off to the side. And right away, panic. Right away the doubts begin: What did I do? Did I go too far? Maybe something is wrong with me? The question is simple. Why does the pushback come exactly at the moment you rise? And what does it mean? Is it a sign that something is not right? The Root: Hatred Comes from Below Here is a point that is simple, but deep: Hatred never comes from above. It comes from below. When someone hates you, it does not mean he is looking down at you and finding a flaw. It means he is looking up at you and cannot stand how high you are. Hatred is not the judgment of the great. It is the cry of the small. So every sign of hatred is really a confirmation. It is a signal from Hashem, who guides every detail, that you have risen and grown. You are already there, in a place the one who hates you still cannot reach. Proof from the Torah: Isaac and the Philistines We do not need to look far. The Torah says it plainly. In the story of Isaac, he was digging wells and Hashem’s blessing rested on him. Then Abimelech, the king of the Philistines, came and told him: “Go away from us, for you have become much mightier than we are.” Look closely at the verse. They did not say, “Go, because you did wrong.” They said, “Go, because you have grown mighty.” The reason they pushed him away was his greatness itself. At least the Philistines were honest. They admitted it openly: You are not the problem. Your greatness is what we cannot stand. It is always like this. The Torah says of Joseph: “His brothers were jealous of him.” The jealousy came because of his dreams. They saw in him something greater than themselves. And of David, the Bible says: “Saul kept a hostile eye on David.” What caused this? It began exactly when the people saw greatness in David. The hatred of the Philistines, the hatred of the brothers, the hatred of King Saul are all hatred that comes from below, truly from below. The Danger: The Moment You Step Down But this is exactly where people fail. The moment a person hears the hatred, he may feel a strong urge to respond. He wants to explain and to justify himself: “You don’t understand me.” “Let me prove it to you.” And at that very moment, he steps down. Think of a seesaw. If you are up high and you come down to the other person’s side, he goes up. You have handed him the height he was trying to take from you. Rabbi Schneur Zalman of Liadi, author of the Tanya, the classic book of Hasidic thought, writes in one of his letters that when people quarrel with you, the right response is not confrontation. Getting caught up in the argument with the person who is fighting you brings no rescue. Just the opposite: it brings you down from your level and raises the other side. The right way is to rise above it, not to confront. Our forefather Isaac teaches us exactly this. When the Philistines drove him away, he kept on digging new wells. He did not argue. He did not explain. He kept on rising. And that is how he won.
Putting It into Practice
My dear friend, if you sense coldness toward you, or jealousy, or criticism that is not fair, pay attention to one thing: Do not step down to respond. This is not because you are weak. It is because you are up high. Every step down into explanations means giving up the height you have reached. Real strength is to stay silent and keep going. Keep climbing. Keep going in your Torah study and your inner work. And when you feel the hatred, remember: it is a certificate from Hashem, who guides every detail, that you are on the right path. Hashem is telling you: You have grown mighty. Keep growing mighty.
Questions and answers
Q: What does the verse "Abimelech said to Isaac: Go away from us, for you have become much mightier than we are" describe?
Rabbi Landau answers: “Abimelech said to Isaac: Go away from us, for you have become much mightier than we are.”
Q: Why does pushback and coldness come exactly at the moment a person rises spiritually?
Rabbi Landau answers: A young married man may know this feeling exactly. One moment he is rising. He is growing and moving forward in his inner work. Then suddenly he feels something cold around him. An uneasy look. A word said off to the side. And right away, panic. Right away the doubts begin: What did I do? Did I go too far? Maybe something is wrong with me? The question is simple. Why does the pushback come exactly at the moment you rise? And what does it mean? Is it a sign that something is not right?
Q: What does the story of Isaac digging wells and Abimelech's demand teach about hatred?
Rabbi Landau answers: We do not need to look far. The Torah says it plainly. In the story of Isaac, he was digging wells and Hashem’s blessing rested on him. Then Abimelech, the king of the Philistines, came and told him: “Go away from us, for you have become much mightier than we are.” Look closely at the verse. They did not say, “Go, because you did wrong.” They said, “Go, because you have grown mighty.” The reason they pushed him away was his greatness itself. At least the Philistines were honest. They admitted it openly: You are not the problem. Your greatness is what we cannot stand. It is always like this.
Q: Why is responding and justifying yourself to critics a step down?
Rabbi Landau answers: But this is exactly where people fail. The moment a person hears the hatred, he may feel a strong urge to respond. He wants to explain and to justify himself: “You don’t understand me.” “Let me prove it to you.” And at that very moment, he steps down. Think of a seesaw. If you are up high and you come down to the other person’s side, he goes up. You have handed him the height he was trying to take from you. Rabbi Schneur Zalman of Liadi, author of the Tanya, the classic book of Hasidic thought, writes in one of his letters that when people quarrel with you, the right response is not confrontation.
Q: What should I do when I sense jealousy or unfair criticism toward me?
Rabbi Landau answers: My dear friend, if you sense coldness toward you, or jealousy, or criticism that is not fair, pay attention to one thing: Do not step down to respond. This is not because you are weak. It is because you are up high. Every step down into explanations means giving up the height you have reached. Real strength is to stay silent and keep going. Keep climbing. Keep going in your Torah study and your inner work. And when you feel the hatred, remember: it is a certificate from Hashem, who guides every detail, that you are on the right path. Hashem is telling you: You have grown mighty. Keep growing mighty.