Laban’s War on Distinctions
Opening There is something happening today that is impossible to miss. Everywhere, people are asking: What is a man? What is a woman? And they present the question itself as a sign of “moral progress.” Anyone who answers simply, according to the Torah, according to creation, according to reality, is seen as someone who has been left behind. The confusion itself has become the badge of being enlightened. So we have to ask: What is the spiritual root of this? What force is at work behind this war? It is not a war against any particular man or woman. It is a war against the very idea of definitions. Separation: The Foundation of Creation The Book of Genesis does not open with an act of making. It opens with an act of telling apart. The Torah says: “Hashem separated between the light and the darkness.” Separation is not a result of creation. It is the act of creation itself. To divide two things that could have been mixed together is the very first divine act. And what is the highest of all these separations? The Torah says: “Male and female He created them.” They are not two copies of the same form. They are two truly different foundations. One gives and one receives; one bestows and one takes in. Each has a unique role, and each carries its own dignity. When the Torah calls woman “a helper matched to him,” this does not mean she is less. It means she is unique. It is precisely because they are different that they complete each other. Holiness is born from separation, not in spite of it. Laban: The Force That Blurs Every Boundary The Torah teaches us to remember: “An Aramean tried to destroy my father.” Rashi, the classic Bible commentator, explains there that Laban the Aramean, father-in-law of our forefather Jacob, wanted to uproot everything. He did not only want to harm Jacob. He wanted to uproot. He did not want to win a battle. He wanted to erase. Think about this: his name was Laban, which in Hebrew means “white.” White is the color that has no color. White is what you get when all the shades are wiped away into one even mass, with no face and no definition. That is exactly his spiritual nature. He wanted to turn all of reality into “it’s all mine,” to blur every boundary. He said to Jacob: “The daughters are my daughters, the sons are my sons, and the flocks are my flocks.” In other words: it is all one, it is all mine, there is no difference. A great Hasidic master explains that this is not a force of open conflict. It is a force of quiet erasing. It does not come with a sword. It comes with a hug. Laban comes “in peace.” Laban in Our Generation My fellow Jew, when you hear that today’s war is not about political questions, but about the very definitions of “man” and “woman,” know that you already recognize this force. It is ancient. Laban the Aramean is not only a figure from history. He is a spiritual force that wanted to uproot everything. And its inner meaning is this: to take apart the distinctions on which holiness stands. When an entire culture declares that telling men and women apart is “dangerous,” that a man’s pride is “toxic,” that having a unique identity is “oppression,” this is exactly Laban’s plan. Not to destroy one man, but to erase the very idea of “a man.” Not to hurt one woman, but to cancel the very idea of “a woman.” Because when there are no definitions, there is no holiness. And when there is no holiness, Laban’s wish to “uproot everything” has succeeded. Notice the precise point here. Any movement that needs to erase the role of the man in order to raise up the woman, or to erase the role of the woman in order to raise up the man, is not only mistaken. It works exactly by Laban’s method. In the Torah, the honor of one never comes at the expense of the other. The Torah says: “Hashem created the human being… male and female He created them.” Both are in Hashem’s image. Both have dignity. Both have a role.
Putting It into Practice
The Baal Shem Tov, founder of the Hasidic movement, taught that everything a Jew sees and hears in the world is a lesson in serving Hashem. The confusion we see around us is a call to grow stronger in the holy distinctions. Not out of fear, and not out of hatred, but from understanding that we are the guardians of the order of creation. What to actually do: Talk with your sons and your daughters about being proud of who they are. Not as a slogan, but as a truth that goes back to the beginning of the world. “I am a man, and that is a mission.” “I am a woman, and that is a mission.” And there is no need to apologize to anyone for this. Laban wanted to uproot. Jacob guarded the boundaries, and from that came the twelve tribes of Israel.
Questions and answers
Q: What is the spiritual root of today's confusion about what a man and a woman are?
Rabbi Landau answers: There is something happening today that is impossible to miss. Everywhere, people are asking: What is a man? What is a woman? And they present the question itself as a sign of “moral progress.” Anyone who answers simply, according to the Torah, according to creation, according to reality, is seen as someone who has been left behind. The confusion itself has become the badge of being enlightened. So we have to ask: What is the spiritual root of this? What force is at work behind this war? It is not a war against any particular man or woman. It is a war against the very idea of definitions.
Q: Why does the Torah's account of creation begin with separating light from darkness?
Rabbi Landau answers: The Book of Genesis does not open with an act of making. It opens with an act of telling apart. The Torah says: “Hashem separated between the light and the darkness.” Separation is not a result of creation. It is the act of creation itself. To divide two things that could have been mixed together is the very first divine act. And what is the highest of all these separations? The Torah says: “Male and female He created them.” They are not two copies of the same form. They are two truly different foundations. One gives and one receives; one bestows and one takes in. Each has a unique role, and each carries its own dignity.
Q: What does "An Aramean tried to destroy my father" teach about Laban as a force that blurs every boundary?
Rabbi Landau answers: The Torah teaches us to remember: “An Aramean tried to destroy my father.” Rashi, the classic Bible commentator, explains there that Laban the Aramean, father-in-law of our forefather Jacob, wanted to uproot everything. He did not only want to harm Jacob. He wanted to uproot. He did not want to win a battle. He wanted to erase. Think about this: his name was Laban, which in Hebrew means “white.” White is the color that has no color. White is what you get when all the shades are wiped away into one even mass, with no face and no definition. That is exactly his spiritual nature. He wanted to turn all of reality into “it’s all mine,” to blur every boundary.
Q: How does Laban the Aramean show up in our generation's war on the definitions of man and woman?
Rabbi Landau answers: My fellow Jew, when you hear that today’s war is not about political questions, but about the very definitions of “man” and “woman,” know that you already recognize this force. It is ancient. Laban the Aramean is not only a figure from history. He is a spiritual force that wanted to uproot everything. And its inner meaning is this: to take apart the distinctions on which holiness stands. When an entire culture declares that telling men and women apart is “dangerous,” that a man’s pride is “toxic,” that having a unique identity is “oppression,” this is exactly Laban’s plan.
Q: What practical step can parents take in the face of confusion about male and female identity?
Rabbi Landau answers: The Baal Shem Tov, founder of the Hasidic movement, taught that everything a Jew sees and hears in the world is a lesson in serving Hashem. The confusion we see around us is a call to grow stronger in the holy distinctions. Not out of fear, and not out of hatred, but from understanding that we are the guardians of the order of creation. What to actually do: Talk with your sons and your daughters about being proud of who they are. Not as a slogan, but as a truth that goes back to the beginning of the world. “I am a man, and that is a mission.” “I am a woman, and that is a mission.” And there is no need to apologize to anyone for this. Laban wanted to uproot.