The Cloud That Covers the Heart
As the Book of Lamentations says: “You have wrapped Yourself in a cloud, so that no prayer can pass through.” Opening Picture a young married man who studies Hasidic teaching. He knows that Hashem runs the world and guides every detail. He can explain the idea that “there is nothing else besides Him” in two or three different ways. But at night, when he lies in bed, his worry doesn’t ask him questions about Hasidic teaching. It is simply there. And this may be the most painful part. It isn’t that he doesn’t know. It’s the gap. The gap between what he knows and what he feels. Sometimes he asks himself: “If I believe all this, why don’t I live from it?” That is the question. And really, it is a question about the whole inner work of Hasidic teaching. The Longest Journey Rabbi Schneur Zalman of Liadi, author of the Tanya, the classic book of Hasidic thought, writes in chapter 12 that there is a special kind of inner work: to “bring down” what the mind knows into the heart. The mind can recognize a truth, yet that truth has not yet become part of the heart and of a person’s character traits. Real awareness is more than head knowledge. It is the mind and the feelings joining together. It is light entering the depths of the inner self until the inner self is truly moved by it. This distance, from the mind to the heart, is the longest journey in a person’s life. You don’t cover it with more classes and more information. Knowing is not the same as being changed. This is not your failure. It is simply what it means to be a soul inside a body, in a world where Hashem is hidden. One Cloud, Not a Thousand Problems In the Book of Lamentations, the prophet Jeremiah weeps: “He has led me and made me walk in darkness, not in light.” He doesn’t say, “Hashem has brought many troubles upon me.” He says there is one darkness that wraps around everything. This is not a thousand separate blows. It is one cloud that hides. This is the new understanding you need to discover for yourself. You are not suffering from a thousand different problems. The anxiety, the worry about making a living, the feeling of loneliness, the need to control everything are not a thousand separate wounds. They are different disguises of one single problem: the hiding. Hashem’s face is hidden. A cloud covers the heart and keeps the light of faith from shining inside it. When you are inside that cloud, every difficulty feels personal and total. “This is my problem. This is my fate. It’s only me.” The cloud creates isolation. But the moment you recognize that there is a cloud here, something begins to loosen. What you feel is not the true reality. It is only a covering over the truth. Our Mourning Is About Our Own Lives We weep over the destruction of the Holy Temple. But maybe we have not understood what we are weeping over. The Holy Temple was the place where Hashem’s light was not hidden. It was open, felt and present. Hashem’s Presence rested there in a way a person could experience, not only know about. The destruction is not only an event in history. It is the cloud that came down over our hearts. “He has led me and made me walk in darkness, not in light.” The light is there. It has not disappeared. But I can no longer experience it. That is the mourning. And if the mourning is real, it is mourning over our own lives, over the gap in our hearts between knowing and experiencing.
Putting It into Practice
The advice is not to read another chapter of the Tanya. More information will not clear away the cloud. The advice is deep reflection. Don’t run away from the worry. Stop and ask yourself: What exactly is covering me right now? What cloud is over my heart at this moment? Then, through the power of that reflection, bring down one truth from your mind into your heart. Just one, small and real. Don’t try to explain everything to yourself. Just open a small crack in the cloud. As the prophet Isaiah says: “I, I am the One who comforts you.” That “I” is inside you, deeper than the hiding. He has not gone anywhere. He is waiting for you to reflect until you find Him.
Questions and answers
Q: What does the verse "You have wrapped Yourself in a cloud, so that no prayer can pass through" say?
Rabbi Landau answers: As the Book of Lamentations says: “You have wrapped Yourself in a cloud, so that no prayer can pass through.”
Q: Why can someone who understands Hasidic teaching still lie awake at night with worry?
Rabbi Landau answers: Picture a young married man who studies Hasidic teaching. He knows that Hashem runs the world and guides every detail. He can explain the idea that “there is nothing else besides Him” in two or three different ways. But at night, when he lies in bed, his worry doesn’t ask him questions about Hasidic teaching. It is simply there. And this may be the most painful part. It isn’t that he doesn’t know. It’s the gap. The gap between what he knows and what he feels. Sometimes he asks himself: “If I believe all this, why don’t I live from it?” That is the question. And really, it is a question about the whole inner work of Hasidic teaching.
Q: Why does Jeremiah describe one darkness rather than many separate troubles?
Rabbi Landau answers: In the Book of Lamentations, the prophet Jeremiah weeps: “He has led me and made me walk in darkness, not in light.” He doesn’t say, “Hashem has brought many troubles upon me.” He says there is one darkness that wraps around everything. This is not a thousand separate blows. It is one cloud that hides. This is the new understanding you need to discover for yourself. You are not suffering from a thousand different problems. The anxiety, the worry about making a living, the feeling of loneliness, the need to control everything are not a thousand separate wounds. They are different disguises of one single problem: the hiding. Hashem’s face is hidden.
Q: How is mourning the destruction of the Holy Temple connected to our own lives?
Rabbi Landau answers: We weep over the destruction of the Holy Temple. But maybe we have not understood what we are weeping over. The Holy Temple was the place where Hashem’s light was not hidden. It was open, felt and present. Hashem’s Presence rested there in a way a person could experience, not only know about. The destruction is not only an event in history. It is the cloud that came down over our hearts. “He has led me and made me walk in darkness, not in light.” The light is there. It has not disappeared. But I can no longer experience it. That is the mourning. And if the mourning is real, it is mourning over our own lives, over the gap in our hearts between knowing and experiencing.
Q: If reading more doesn't clear the cloud over my heart, what will?
Rabbi Landau answers: The advice is not to read another chapter of the Tanya. More information will not clear away the cloud. The advice is deep reflection. Don’t run away from the worry. Stop and ask yourself: What exactly is covering me right now? What cloud is over my heart at this moment? Then, through the power of that reflection, bring down one truth from your mind into your heart. Just one, small and real. Don’t try to explain everything to yourself. Just open a small crack in the cloud. As the prophet Isaiah says: “I, I am the One who comforts you.” That “I” is inside you, deeper than the hiding. He has not gone anywhere. He is waiting for you to reflect until you find Him.