You want to marry someone who went through what you went through?

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You want to marry someone who went through what you went through?

That might be the most dangerous dating advice out there.

Pain doesn’t shape everyone the same way.
The same fire that refines… can also scar.

For men, suffering builds depth.
Responsibility. Humility. Strength.

For women, pain cuts differently.
It burns inward. It leaves residue.

So when a man says,
“She understands me, she went through the same thing”
he’s confusing familiarity with compatibility.

The Torah already told us this,
טוֹב לִי כִי עֻנֵּיתִי לְמַעַן אֶלְמֹד חֻקֶּיךָ
“It was good that I was afflicted
because it refined me.”

Hardship doesn’t guarantee growth.
It reveals who you are
and what you became.

Choose wisely.

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