What does the commandment “do not covet” teach about comparing myself to others?

Rabbi Landau teaches from a close reading of the verse “Lo sachmod beis rei'echa, lo sachmod eshes rei'echa, v'avdo va'amaso, v'shoro va'chamoro, v'chol asher l'rei'echa”: do not covet your neighbor's house, your neighbor's wife, his servant, his ox, his donkey, and all that belongs to your neighbor.

He hears in that list a picture of how comparison works: one neighbor's house, another neighbor's wife, someone else's servant, another's ox, and yet another's donkey, “all the best parts of everyone else's life gathered into one life you think should be yours.”

That, he teaches, is the trap. We take one friend's marriage and another friend's confidence and build “your own imaginary person out of the best parts of all the different people.” The Torah's warning is against competing with a person who doesn't exist, a comparison “that was never real.”

Going deeper: Rabbi Landau's teaching, level by level

Surface claim

Lo sachmod lists many neighbors' possessions, the way comparison gathers many people's best parts.

Deepest human truth

Coveting is competing with a life you invented. Naming whose advantage is whose makes the imaginary rival dissolve.

More questions from this teaching

• Why does comparing myself to others always make me feel behind?