Does getting married help a man build wealth?

Rabbi Landau answers with a teaching that sounds backwards at first: single people rarely build wealth, because “as a single person, you have too much freedom to ever seek freedom.” Marriage, he explains, is often what starts the wealth journey.

You would think being single gives you the perfect setup to make money, with time, space, and energy. “But no, that’s the trap,” he says. “Money doesn’t come from time, it comes from urgency.” When you are single, you don’t need anything. “You’re floating. You’re too free to fight for freedom.”

Once you get married, that freedom is taken away. Suddenly you are locked in, and “the human spirit can’t stay locked in. We’re wired to seek freedom.” The only freedom left to chase is financial freedom, and “that’s when the wealth journey starts.” As he puts it, now someone depends on you, there is a home to build, and urgency can pull out a level of ambition that comfort never will.

He reads this into the words of King David: “Al tira ki ya’ashir ish, ki yirbeh kvod beiso.” Don’t be shocked when a man grows rich; it is because the honor of his home, his bayis, his marriage, has grown. Sometimes, he adds, the blessing does not come before the responsibility. The responsibility is what prepares you for it.

Also answered in this teaching

Should I wait until I have money before getting married?

Rabbi Landau’s advice is the reverse: “First get married, and don’t worry, you’re going to become rich.” The responsibility of the home is what creates the urgency that builds wealth.

Going deeper: Rabbi Landau's teaching, level by level

Surface claim

Single people have time and freedom, yet Rabbi Landau teaches that this is exactly why they rarely build wealth: money comes from urgency, not from free time.

Fear, vulnerability, or tension

Marriage feels like the loss of freedom and the start of new expenses. In A Soul at Peace, Rabbi Landau writes that the verse says “do not be afraid” because the young groom does feel a real fear of the yoke he is taking on.

Underlying need or longing

Once a man is “locked in,” his spirit reaches for freedom, and the only freedom left to chase is financial freedom.

Deepest human truth

Responsibility is not the obstacle to blessing. In Rabbi Landau’s reading of King David’s words, it is because the honor of the home grew that the man grew rich.

More questions from this teaching

• What does the verse “Al tira ki ya’ashir ish” mean?