Why do I feel nervous and restless on Shabbos when I’m new to keeping it?

Rabbi Landau answers with something a person new to Shabbat once told him. His stomach was tight, he had butterflies, he felt restless. “Shabbat is supposed to be rest,” he said. “Why does it feel like this?”

Rabbi Landau’s answer: Shabbat is a relationship, a bond between us and God. And at the beginning of every relationship there is excitement and nervousness. “That doesn’t mean something is wrong. It means the bond is new.”

At first, love feels very intense. Later it matures, and then it becomes restful. That is why we call it “menuchas ahavah,” the rest that comes from love. “So, if Shabbat feels intense right now, relax. That’s just the relationship settling in.”

Going deeper: Rabbi Landau's teaching, level by level

Surface claim

Nervousness and restlessness when starting to keep Shabbos do not mean something is wrong.

Fear, vulnerability, or tension

Someone new to Shabbos expects rest and instead feels a tight stomach and butterflies, and wonders whether he is doing it wrong.

Underlying need or longing

Shabbos is a relationship, a bond between us and God. In A Soul at Peace, Rabbi Landau writes that the Sabbath is “a weekly meeting, close and personal, between the Jewish people and Hashem.”

Deepest human truth

Love begins intense and matures into calm. The rest of Shabbos is “menuchas ahavah,” a rest that comes from love.